It’s one of the worst-case scenarios leaders find themselves facing at work. You overhear an interaction between Lisa and Bob who are discussing the latest financial reports. Lisa shouts at Bob and says, “Don’t you think I know that? Let me do my job!” Lisa then storms off, slamming the office door behind her, a noise that reverberates across the entire office. Other employees in the office stand up to see what the commotion was all about. Many are shaken and rattled. This is not the first time you have heard Lisa raise her voice to others, but this is the worst example you have witnessed. You must address Lisa’s behavior, but how do you take action in a way that doesn’t add more fuel to the fire? How do you maintain control over the situation while communicating expectations about what behaviors are acceptable and which are not?
How to Effectively Address Anger at Work
When addressing the angry employee, DO
- Ensure everyone is safe, including you. If the person is making threats or if anyone feels unsafe, including you, get security or the authorities involved immediately.
- Choose the right timing to approach the person. I recommend letting the employee cool off for a period of at least an hour. When emotions are high, brain function is low, so no one does their best thinking or communicating when angry. Giving space allows the employee – and you – to gather thoughts and gain some perspective. An exception to waiting would be workplace violence, such as a fight between two employees. That requires immediate intervention.
- Balance being direct and sensitive. Your feedback should focus squarely on the behavior of the person, not an employee’s personal characteristics. Essentially, you don’t want to call Lisa a jerk and accuse her of making people feel uncomfortable and nervous. Instead, what you might say is: “Lisa, in the past you have been a great contributor on projects and helped the team be successful in many ways. But, lately I’ve noticed you have a shorter fuse regarding work requests. For example, earlier this morning, when Bob asked you questions about the financial reports, I heard you raise your voice at him and then go slam your office door. I am concerned about the difference in you, as well as in your work. I’d like to hear from you about what happened.”
- Seek only the facts. This is your time to listen and ask questions. What led up to the outburst? What could that employee have done differently rather than shout or use an aggressive tone of voice? Beneath the emotions and opinions, is there a legitimate business problem he or she needs your help in solving?
- Clarify next steps. Do you need to gather additional facts and perspectives from other people involved? If this is a repeat issue with this particular employee, is it time to discuss a formal disciplinary action? Would the employee assistance program (EAP) be an important resource to provide? What is the employee willing to do to become aware of their stress triggers to prevent another outburst? Ultimately, let the employee know what you want him or her to do – even in this moment. In this scenario, after gathering all the facts and speaking to everyone involved, Lisa’s manager might summarize with this expectation: “It’s important that you be the active contributor here that you were before. That means having an even disposition, a real positive approach to getting things done, and certainly no outbursts. I am sorry that you are having some difficulties at home. For the good of the workplace, we all need to work together as a cohesive team, which means I need you to maintain a calm disposition at work.”
A difficult yet important part of a leader’s journey is to effectively handle difficult employee encounters, including diffusing angry employees and finding root causes of the situations that often escalate into anger. How you approach these situations can determine the tone of interactions on the entire team – if your team sees you acting civil and remaining calm, the team will feel reassured by that stability and have an example to live up to in their own practice.
Most of all, ensure that leaders in your organization are trained in handling conflict so your organization will experience greater team cohesion, higher engagement, and improved self-awareness of how individual actions impact the surrounding team.
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Shelly Price is the Principal Consultant and President of Human Capital Next, LLC, which focuses on human resources project consulting services and interim support. Shelly specializes in custom training and leadership development and facilitation, culture and engagement survey and assessment, and employee relations. Shelly holds an MBA degree and is certified to use the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI) Instrument, FourSight® Thinking Profile, and DiSC® assessment. She holds a Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHR) designation from the HR Certification Institute and is an Organization Development Certified Professional from the Institute of Organization Development in Fort Myers, Florida.
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